Throughout the course of reality television, many an unremarkable person, having never before put pen to paper, has turned to poetry to express their love and affection.
Given that the premise of a dating show is to turn love into a competition—demonstrable and quantifiable, able to be won or lost—this may come as no surprise. Such demonstration requires a reliance on romantic tropes: flowers, candles, fireworks, and—you guessed it—poems. What better way to prove your love but compare it to a summer’s day?
What better way to prove your love but compare it to a summer’s day?
But as both poet and longtime lover of reality TV myself, the tendency has raised some questions for me. For instance: who are these people? Have these contestants been poets all along, their writerly souls lying dormant until at last awakened on Love Island or some such place? Or is it all a well-meaning veneer, and the poet in question ceases to be a poet once they secure the object of their affection?
By looking at the distribution of poems per reality series, as well as analyzing some key examples, we might uncover something about the nature of love—or, at least, answer one critical question: does love make poets of us all?
The Stats
Since 2012, roughly 42 poems have been written by reality dating show contestants, spread over this randomly, but widely, selected sample. Though it appears some shows have significantly more poets to their name, this is primarily due to more seasons and spin-offs. On average, poems appear at roughly the same frequency on each of the selected shows.
But who, exactly, are these poets?
(Note: the following charts don’t include nonbinary, transgender, or other non-cisgender identifying individuals. Not, of course, because they don’t write love poems, but due to the cisnormative, heterosexual structure of nearly all reality dating shows that results in a lack of representation.)
When we breakdown the poets by gender, male contestants are found to be far more prolific than their female counterparts.
Now you may be asking yourself, how does this compare to the gender distribution of poets in the United States at large?
Not only are we currently a more feminine poetic society, but this number has held steady since around 2010.
When we compare these numbers to our reality series, the difference is frankly striking:
Why such discrepancy? This is due to something I like to call The Romeo Complex.
The Romeo Complex
The Romeo Complex is the idea that, in a setting of heightened reality, when confronted with a forbidden object, man will attempt to secure his desire through poetry—an act he believes will demonstrate both his romance and intellect—only so he can throw it all out the window to sleep with her (or, in more extreme cases, die for her) at the first possible opportunity.
How to Identify a Romeo?
- Often employs rhyme.
- Wants what (whom) he can’t have.
- Excessively dramatic about his last break-up
- Quick to marry. And to say “I love you”.
- Courts his love through a watery veneer (see: figures below).
But what do we make of his poetry? Let’s take a closer look at some examples.
The Poems
Our first subject is Izzy from Love Is Blind season 5, the creator of the poem “Why I Love You.”
Izzy’s meter is fairly irregular, emphasized by the amount of feminine endings he employs. (Note: a “feminine ending” is when a line of poetry concludes on an unstressed syllable. This type of ending often signifies uncertainty or otherwise calls attention to itself, as in Hamlet’s famous line to be or not to be, that is the question.)
It may be a simple side effect of the name “Stacy” that the syllables fall this way. Nevertheless, we might question what it means about his love that nearly each line falls on an uncertain, dangling, syllable. (Spoiler alert: Stacy & Izzy do not end up together…)
Let’s turn this lens on “An Introduction,” a poem by Jonathan on The Golden Bachelorette, Season 1.
Jonathan starts off fairly regular and in a more typical poetic tradition. However, by the end of his second stanza, the main meter of his poem is no longer iambic, but anapestic (something more commonly encountered in a Greek epic than a modern love poem). While he engages with some internal rhyme, his conclusion puts rhyme above emotion, ending on a superficial observation about the poem’s object (Joan)’s looks.
His rhyme, however, remains romantic. Jonathan’s poetic efforts are clear. His priorities or intentions in the relationship, less so.
Our next poet is Miguel from Married at First Sight Season 15, who penned two poems, each untitled.
Miguel says it best himself: they’re better with a beat.
He writes more in the tradition of rap or slam poetry than the lyrical greats. This is to say: his sense of internal rhyme is top notch, even if that’s the only thing truly happening in these works.
Most notable here is that these poems are not an expression of love so much as a gesture meant to elicit love, or validation. The televised lover gives a poem sometimes as a gift, and sometimes as a wish to be seen.
The televised lover gives a poem sometimes as a gift, and sometimes as a wish to be seen.
Now we’ll be looking at our first woman poet: Stacy from Love Is Blind Season 5, the recipient of Izzy’s previously discussed poem, “Why I Love You.”
Stacy is one of our finest poets, and her response to Izzy’s poem is what some might call a modern masterpiece. The rhyme is constant, the intent is pure, the pay-off is golden. Stacy’s poem reads more as a limerick, in part due to its meter and, in part due to its playfulness.
This poem is more a gesture of mirth, and succeeds only by not taking itself too seriously.
Last but not least, let’s dive into “I Just Hope I Don’t Vomit on Your Shoes” from Joan of The Golden Bachelor Season 1.
Joan, a teacher, is, perhaps, our most formally consistent poet.This is metrically wavering at times, but not erratic, and the assuredness of her rhyme seals it all up. That said, Joan’s poem professes academic prowess while obviating any true or more vulnerable expression of feeling.
This is to say that, sometimes, the televised lover leans on the poem as a crutch—a thing which holds the auspice of romance, while not necessitating any real spilling of the gut. All in all, a lovely effort from Joan.
Conclusion
To return to our original question: does love make poets of us all? No.
Is what we see on reality television actually love? Also no.
What have we learned here today? Nothing.
We’ve just analyzed some bad poems. And given some Romeo’s the time of day.
The post An MFA Poet Analyzes Love Poems by Dating Show Contestants appeared first on Electric Literature.
