Do people doubt your driving abilities?
A. Yes, I’m still earning trust as a new mode of transportation.
B. Yes, I’m still up against long-held stereotypes and tired stand-up routines.
Do strangers ever gawk at you or comment on your appearance?
A. Yes, usually in response to my spinning parts and empty driver’s seat.
B. Yes, but I’m told I should feel flattered and that I’ll miss the attention when I’m older.
Does Google own you?
A. No, their parent company, Alphabet, owns me.
B. No, they just track my every move, know my innermost desires, and can manipulate my behavior with alarming precision to increase profits.
Are you trained to let others cut you off?
A. Yes, to avoid collisions.
B. Yes, in any conversation with a man.
Have you ever suspected a mechanic was trying to rip you off?
A. No, I receive routine maintenance from a certified team of experts.
B. Yes, when I was charged extra for “premium” tire air.
Are you expected to perform unpaid labor?
A. Yes, but I can also inhabit San Francisco and Los Angeles rent-free.
B. Yes, while paying $2,600 in rent.
Do you have a lot of resources at your disposal to keep you safe?
A. Yes, I have a built-in network of sensors, 360-degree cameras, and 24-7 emergency support.
B. Yes, I have a plastic whistle, fingernails, and, in theory, the police.
Does Elon Musk believe in your autonomy?
A. Yes, Musk is a proponent of self-driving technology.
B. No, Musk doesn’t think I’m capable of independent thought due to having “low T.”
Has the government overturned your constitutional right to reproductive autonomy?
A. No… that would be dystopian.
B. Yes.
Do you think you’ll ever see someone like you be president of the United States?
A. Maybe!
B. No, we are more likely to elect a felon or a car.
RESULTS
Mostly A’s: You are a Waymo, a self-driving vehicle with increasing popularity. Enjoy the ride.
Mostly B’s: You are a woman. Sorry!
Mix of A’s and B’s: You’re half woman, half self-driving car, designed by Elon Musk.
All A’s and B’s: You are a woman in a Waymo. Consider joining forces and driving off a cliff Thelma and Louise style!
