Haunting Strategies When Your Dilapidated Mansion Gets Converted into an Airbnb
Mansion: Moaning in the middle of the night
Airbnb: Changing the WiFi password to alternate between zero and the letter zero, like “00OO0O000O”
Mansion: Shouting “Get Out!”
Airbnb: Giving commands via posters, like EAT or LIVE LAUGH LOVE.
Mansion: Creating panic in their minds over the course of months
Airbnb: Inducing a nagging feeling over the course of hours that they forgot something at home
Mansion: Disappearing before their eyes
Airbnb: Being very responsive until they check in and then ghosting them
Mansion: Moving their possessions around
Airbnb: Storing a colander behind the television and maple syrup in the shower
Mansion: Creating cold spots in the room
Airbnb: Producing hot and cold spots throughout the unit with a broken thermostat
Mansion: Leaving riddles to help you leave this plane of existence
Airbnb: Providing directions to the Airbnb, such as “It’s three houses down from the tree with a broken branch that looks like Paul Giamatti.”
Mansion: Adding yourself to their photos
Airbnb: Altering the photos of the Airbnb to look like a completely different and nicer place
Mansion: Slashing the furniture and curtains
Airbnb: Dulling the knives to be as effective as a block of wood
Mansion: Filling the room with a smell of sulfur
Airbnb: Making it smell as if a rat died on the other side of the drywall
Mansion: Taking small trinkets to use in luring them to their death
Airbnb: Stealing by having non-refundable fees added at the end of their stay
Mansion: Creating footstep sounds in the middle of the night
Airbnb: Making the walls so thin they can hear when the neighbor rolls over in bed
Mansion: Leaving coins and collectibles from your time
Airbnb: Ensuring there are four shakers of cumin but no salt at all
Mansion: Taking over their body to control them
Airbnb: Leaving complicated checkout procedures to force them to do what you wish
Mansion: Creating a fog in a room
Airbnb: Unfogging a circle on the bathroom mirror to leave them thinking they were filmed
Mansion: Leaving visible ectoplasm all over the house
Airbnb: Making the ectoplasm visible only under a black light
Mansion: Pull a sheet over your head and float around the room
Airbnb: Same. It’s a classic, and you can’t give up all tradition, so don’t change a thing.
