Do you know how to speak up for yourself? I mean when the conflicts get tough and complicated, can you stand firm and hold your head up high?
If you’re not careful, the world can plow you under, making you become a pushover to other people with strengths and goals. These are sometimes things you don’t believe in for yourself.
Most of the time, you suffer from low self-esteem or trauma from past bullying situations. It’s hard to stand up for yourself when dealing with conflict is not your cup of tea. But eventually, you must make a change.
How to speak up for yourself
Speaking up for yourself will take some time to learn. This is not something you will immediately learn how to do unless you just set out to angrily push everyone out of your way. This can cause more problems. Learning to be assertive will take practice and following a few simple steps.
1. Address one thing at a time
If you find it difficult to stand up for yourself, take one situation at a time. For instance, if you tend to shy away from admitting your true feelings to a certain friend, now’s the time to speak up. Instead of being passive-aggressive or saying nothing at all, try one bold truth.
Then gauge the reaction when you do this. If it goes over well, then you know you can start being transparent with this friend. Then you can work on your relationship with others.
2. Recognize why it’s wrong
You cannot start to stand up for what you believe until you recognize why always keeping your mouth shut is wrong. Maybe, not saying anything has worked well for you so far. Maybe it hasn’t caused too many waves. Unfortunately, it will at some point.
And you’re not being a whole person if you always go along with everything. Sometimes, you have to say no and be at peace.
3. Respect your emotions
How often do you feel something but try to ignore the feeling to avoid confrontation? It can happen often. It can seem like such an easy way to just get through the day. While this may be normal for you, it’s highly abnormal, and you should never ignore how you really feel.
Speaking up for yourself is important because you respect yourself in this way. You recognize anger, disappointment, and sadness when you admit what you’re feeling, and you can process these feelings much better. Even though it may seem like a hard thing to do, express how you feel.
4. Always be real
The more authentic of a person you appear, the more people will respect you. You will know how to speak up for yourself when you see this respect. As you speak up for yourself, do not be cruel. Instead, express your boundaries and stand firm in your convictions. With the transparency you show, others will pause before taking advantage of you.
5. Express the importance of time
When it comes to speaking up for yourself at work, for instance, the subject of time will be involved. Yes, there are assignments and tasks that you need to get done in order to be a quality worker, but there is also something called, ‘overloading’ that can affect your health.
When there’s too much work being piled on your shoulders, you have to speak up. While some employers aren’t merciful, most of them will work with you if you speak in the right way.
In the most respectful tone possible, remind your employer of the importance of your time, and how you can actually work much better when not exhausted. It may not work 100% of the time, but it’s worth a try.
6. Don’t be passive-aggressive… ever
There are so many of us who hint around when we aren’t happy. This type of behavior doesn’t always get noticed by the subject of our aggravation. It also gradually makes us angry when we are passive-aggressive.
So, instead of using this tactic to get something done, or to make yourself heard, try basically just being tactful. Say what you mean, be simple, and get the point across quickly. Whatever happens next will help you decide what to do with the situation at hand. You won’t have to keep going back to the same problem and cowering down.
7. Understand your worth
When you grow to understand just how important you are as a human being, it will be much easier to stand up for yourself at work and in all kinds of situations.
If you have low self-worth, then people will notice this and sometimes take advantage of you. Stand tall, hold your head high and say what you want. Understand your worth, and make sure they see the best in you.
Practice makes perfect
Learning how to speak up for yourself will take consistency. You cannot become this confident overnight. It’s because you’ve let people walk all over you for a long time. This means it will also take a while to change this mindset and way of communication.
But not to worry, if you don’t have the ability to feel strong within, you can fake it until you get it right. The most important thing to remember is that your goal is to stand up for yourself, and you will eventually get it right if you never give up.
References:
