“Because You Wished For It”
&because
you
is the object of love
you yes
you my enemy
into whose enmity
I was born
you
are my always and I
am the never
you have tried
to master
you who knows well
how to feed my world
destruction
you
look for me in every
second and I
am your every time
you know that
much about me and every
you
in your world is me
my many eyes open/close
in the dark that you’ll never
master or capture
is it a piece
of my body you’ve
misplaced in your
hiding?
am I the bone
that eats at you?
because
it was not enough for you
to take my place
you
you
you repeat your massacres
and you can’t stop
because if you do
you’ll never be
the you that you are
*
&because you wished for it
it’s not enough to say:
I’ll never get you—
there is nothing to get
or is there?
you’ve mastered a language
in pursuit of me
I commend you for it and
I condemn all your words
*
&because you wished for it
it is never fair to say
and not say at all
you remains the object
of love and it’s you that
turns and twists my every
gesture and returns my
hate manifolds:
blood turns to dust
bones turn to rubble
limbs and limbs and limbs
without limbs and
father and mothers shedding
limbs and color
without life and red
and grey and children unchilded
and the plastic white
every time
you realize that
survival is my victory
*
all in disproportion
you can’t love therefore
your hate is futile
you feel the world owes you an apology
though you never owned
your hate
and this lack eats at
you
you
you
who only knows how
to feed my world destruction
*
&because
you wished for it
you is the object of love
it is you that turns and returns my hate
the one you nurtured in every drop of sweat
&because
you don’t deserve my blood
you hunt after it like water
and with every breath you catch yourself taking another step
toward my murder
*
&because
you wished for it
when walking north to nothing
Maria the 4-year-old girl from Gaza
recites:
You thought it enough to burn me,
dance like a devil over my remains.
In the open, you thought I’d shrivel
and die in the eye of the desert sun.
You thought you have
annihilated me, erased
my identity, my history,
my everything –
But in vain all your efforts,
in vain you will remain,
because
a rebel doesn’t wither,
a rebel doesn’t settle,
a rebel is me – at the end
I say:
I’ll come for you one day.
I’m coming for you one day.**
*
I’ll come for you one day
this is the certain unknown
that keeps eating at your
present
&because
there are men under the sun,
and nothing shines in the dark—
we know that unknown
we know it more than most
the future will be
another line on another
wall under the
sun—where nothing
is new as the saying
goes where life is never
nothing is new
under the sun
except us
who know the
sting of history
more than most
for us whose numbers
linger in the sum
for us who see the old
nest on bare branches
for us, who hold no
book of exits and entries
for us to whom no one listens
for us the echo is everything
listen to our voices
return to tell you:
because
you
is the object of love
I’ll come for you one day
I’ll come for you one day
___________________________
**This is a rewriting of lines composed by the Saudi poet Muhadhdhil al-Squr and recited by 4-year-old Maria Hannoun (pictured above), a survivor of Israel’s genocide against the Palestinian people, as she and her family returned to their home in North Gaza after the so-called “ceasefire” announced on Jan 19, 2025. Israel violated the so-called ceasefire many times since then and has now returned to its massacring of innocent lives with impunity as the complicit world watches in silence.
