The Trump Campaign Distrances Itself from Tony Hinchcliffe’s Joke About Puerto Rico Because It Was Not Actually a Joke

“The stand-up comedian Tony Hinchcliffe took the stage early in former President Donald J. Trump’s rally at Madison Square Garden on Sunday, hurling a wave of insults and vulgar statements at minority groups including Jews, Latinos and African Americans.” — New York Times

After President Trump’s sold-out rally in Madison Square Garden this weekend, the mainstream media has been attempting to tear down his campaign by blowing some of the speakers’ remarks way out of proportion. Still, given the backlash, we would like to clarify that President Trump does not condone comedian Tony Hinchcliffe’s joke about Puerto Rico being a floating garbage island. Because President Trump did not believe it was actually a joke.

When Hinchcliffe, a well-respected podcaster whom many twenty-something white men have heard of, spoke in front of the massive crowd of 300,000 patriots and Dr. Phil, he called Puerto Rico a “floating island of garbage.” Unfortunately, after receiving pushback on social media about the comment, Hinchcliffe claimed he was “only joking” and said he “loves” Puerto Rico and even “vacations there.”

President Trump, on the other hand, believes that Puerto Rico is no laughing matter, considering it’s a very real island made entirely of floating refuse a thousand miles southeast of Florida. It’s unfortunate that Hinchcliffe would walk back his comments rather than double down, as Trump so courageously does in these situations.

Some say it’s absurd to think there’s a five-thousand-square-mile patch of floating debris stable enough to build houses and roads on. But if the Democrats can create category-five hurricanes and rig elections without leaving a trace, is it that far-fetched to believe they could construct islands made of junk?

The fact that Puerto Rico is a literal island of garbage created by the Democrats is the only logical explanation for why our campaign would walk back Hinchcliffe’s non-joke joke. After all, President Trump’s position on Latinos and other immigrants is consistent: They come from shithole places and are either criminals or insane asylum escapees. And it doesn’t get much more “shithole” than an island made out of random crap—even if its residents are US citizens.

It also explains why Trump deliberately withheld funding for the island after Hurricane Maria. Because to withhold desperately needed money from US citizens on a real island (and not a floating garbage island built by Democrats) would have just been unspeakably cruel.

Puerto Rico is obviously a long con perpetrated by Democrats to juice their numbers while making Trump look bad. Just look at the Puerto Ricans who have come out in support of the Harris campaign. We don’t know much about this Bad Bunny chick. Sexy name aside, it’s clear she’s just another low-IQ individual who supports Harris’s woke agenda of basic rights for women and less poverty.

As for the other speakers at last night’s rally, which, by the way, was attended by nearly one million red-blooded Americans and Rudy Giuliani, there is nothing else the campaign would like to walk back. Yes, one speaker called Harris “the Antichrist,” and another claimed she was the “least qualified candidate to ever run for any political office in American history” and that “she and her pimp handlers will destroy our country.”

These statements are logically consistent and true, so there’s no need to qualify or distance our campaign from them. It is well-known that Satan, a notorious pimp, spawned Harris and is dictating her every move. That’s why she went to law school and became a district attorney, attorney general, senator, and vice president (none of which are helpful job experiences for the presidency), all while turning tricks on the streets of San Francisco. Now Harris is running for president so she can usher in the apocalypse and launch the unholy reign of Satan. So, please tell us, what exactly is there to walk back?

And we won’t even bother addressing Hinchcliffe’s other statements, like about carving watermelons with Black people. The same goes for Tucker Carlson calling Harris “Samoan or Malaysian” or the tsunami of other things said by other speakers before the record crowd of ten million billionaires, golfers, tech bros, Joe Rogan fans, election deniers, and Hulk Hogan at Madison Square Garden.

But rest assured, if those comments start to make waves, we’ll be sure to explain them away as well.